I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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