Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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