pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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