it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
