The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
