capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
