You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
