Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
