Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
