I love black thongs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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