Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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