i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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