can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
