I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
