Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
