A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
