Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
