Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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