you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
