Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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