as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
