its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
