I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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