I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
