Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
