Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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