I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
