We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
