Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
