just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need a beard to bite.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
