i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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