So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
