dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
