then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
