youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
