Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this will be a night to untag.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
