Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
