yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorry about my life...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
