i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
