R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I could fuck to npr.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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