I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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