Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
