I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
