My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My bed smells like the plague
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
