Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
