He is such a slut. More and more my type.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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