I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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