Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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