He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
