just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
